When I started writing these dispatches I did not expect so sudden fame and fortune as a result of some modest expressing of opinions. But a steady stream of fan-mail kept arriving on a daily basis. The latest one came only this morning, and I will share it with you here...

TO: The Big Liar

Your distortions and lies qualify you for "Propangandist of the Year" awards! Your lies and drivel are so hateful you must be a Soviet. Your Communist and Socialist philosophies, your actual Bull Shit is hilarious ! You could have worked for Stalin or Hitler in the past
century...both were murderers and liars. We Americans are people who are the enemy of all who foster atrocities. We are there in Serbia to combat EVIL. And , therefore that means we are the "Good Guys' and YOU are the evil ones. Your troops are murdering innocents. Or even unarmed prisoners. The civilized nations of the Western World (the Best of Mankind) are there in Serbia to correct evil deeds. No amount of distortions or
abject lies on your part are going to change the tide of history. Good will triumph over the Serbian Socialist Evil Leaders.  Your silly drivel will not change anything.

As far as our pilots are concerned, they are good-hearted American young men who are of good heart and are there to protect the refugees from evil murderers. Of course they didn't bomb the refugees on purpose. They were trying to kill the murderers you support.

Socialism is a sick and useless philosophy. It fosters power-mad leaders.... Men and women without humanity. Do you recall "The Killing Fields" ? Were those followers of Socialism doing Good in the World ? NO, they were sick and ignorant inhumane communists.   I am an Objectivist, a Capitalist, a Freedom Loving Person. YOU are MY
Enemy. You foster the triumph of inhumane and criminal people over the civilized people. Your lies and distortions should earn you a prison term. STOP THIS NONSENSE AND REPORT THE TRUTH. FOR GOD'S SAKE, THE CIA DOES NOT RUN CNN !! IT IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF FREEDOM OF THE PRESS AND YOU CAN'T STAND IT...WHICH PROVES THAT YOU HAVE AN EVIL HEART. YOU ARE AN ASS.

SINCERELY,
BILL HAWKINS

And here's my response:

Dearest Billy:
you are absolutely right and thank you so much for showing restraint in calling me names. I've heard much worse things from many of my former girlfriends, family members, and passersby. You've never met me, yet seems to me that you know me well. You are very articulate for your age (What are you, 7 or 8?) and if you ever decide to continue you education and enter high-school, you may learn that Hitler and Stalin both lived in this century, not last. But who cares. What's important is that you are showing great promise already. Keep up the good work.

Sincerely
Uncle Bahus